THE RESULTS ARE IN!
(please read the rest in your Game Of Thrones voice. PS there are no spoilers in this post)
After a hard fought battle in Europe, The Exchange is excited to announce the winner of the In A World Like This Tour Selfie Challenge 2014 Extravaganza Championship Final Round. But first, a little background.
It all started in Lisbon, Portugal where The Exchange started a 32 city tour as the support band for The Backstreet Boys. A grueling schedule spanning from February to April, there is no better way to make it through the day-in and day-out schedule without a little ode to vanity, an homage to visage, a triumph of technology:
The Selfie (dum dum DAAAH!)
But not just any ole run of the mill, low down, good for nothin and nothin better to do selfie. Noooo, no! This is the Pre Show Selfie….#preshowselfie to be exact. A pre game tradition as sacred as the Haka, a locker room sign tap, the bald head rub, or any probably insensitive vaguely-native American gesture…it’s about mental focus. It’s about honor. It’s about Social Media.
It was started by visionary Alfredo Austin, a bastion of biceps and cool T-Shirts. His hashtag was trumpeted ‘roun’ the world as his Instantaneous Telegram numbers grew. It spread but his reign went unchallenged and his power grew unruly. The citizens of his selfie kingdom wanted more when one day, a brazen hero, young and bold, was passing through town. He heard the cries of the people and his heart rang out, a single tear rolling down his cheek (lens flare) as he knelt forward to hold the out-stretched hand of a young girl. Locking eyes, he whispered, “I will help you,” and again turned (another lens flare) and bellowed, “I WILL HELP YOU!”
With a mighty flash of the shutter on his trusted but worn iPhone 4 (no, not the 4S), Richard of the West withdrew his rapier of a camera phone.
“En Garde!” he challenged Alfredo the Old. Not speaking French, Alfredo kept course, day after day, tshirt after tank top, mirror after mirror…a barrage of selfies, each landing heavily on the shoulders of Richard the Great. The young and battered warrior, a true underdog and champion of the people, drew upon the wisdom of his ancestors, and with cunning and vigor unleashed his might. Not once. Not twice. But Thrice…times.
A fierce mêlée (see: Level 2 of Star Fox for N64) of 14 selfies in 1 snap,
An impossible, never-before seen prestidigitous hands-free shot,
A long-range photograph from the highest peak, rivaled only by Marathon himself.
But retaliate did the contended. Alfredo the Adolfo fired back with the power of an armada (the iPhone5 has a better camera) launching a 16-in-one selfie bomb, a Bikram Yoga hover-selfie, and a Chuck Norris-eque high kick, knocking Richard the Contender to the ground.
He had done his best to save the people, but could not deliver the coup de grâce on his own. At night, near the end of the journey (maybe in Dublin), Richard lay resting all but overcome with despair and Guinness. How was AAA to be defeated? Was all hope lost? He set his battered phone down, and climbed to the top bunk.
A silence filled the air (the wifi was working), and in the distance, the sound of thunder rumbled deep and low, marching closer with each murmur, Twitter notifications vibrating in the darkness. Richard lifted his head to see not thunder nor storm, but an uprising of the people! They approached with boisterous abandon and fiery spirits, ignited by The Good Fight (available on iTunes TODAY!) Richard had fought.
For 4 days and 4 nights, the legion rebelled, Team Richard against Team Alfredo (many actually fighting on both sides). Volleys of R and A selfies rained down until the final night when the firing stopped. The dirge of a battlefield count was drowned out by the subs during the Backstreet Boys set and also slow internet. ALAS! A victor emerged from the darkness. A mighty people had risen up and over turned the throne, leaving the crown for…
TEAM RICHARD!!! WINNER OF THE SELFIE CHALLENGE!!!!
Written on this the seventh day of this the fourth month of this the two thousand fourteenth year of our lord/the year of the horse by Richard Steighner.
Some of the details of this story were exaggerated, but as Winston S. Churchill said, “History is written by the victors!”
Thank you all for playing! We are lucky to have you guys as fans! Please stay in touch with The Exchange. We had a great time in Europe and WILL. BE. BACK.
See you soon 🙂
<3 The Exchange